The Operation PART II

Inside the room, the anaesthetist I had met earlier measured my blood pressure a final time and his assistant tried to calm my nerves. They inserted the line into the back of my hand and I don't remember a lot after that. I think maybe they gave me a pre-med. It's all hazy.

When I regained consciousness it took a WHILE for me to recover my thoughts. I still don't remember if I was in that room or in the ward. I was babbling nonsense about this kid because I felt like him. Apparently I had been thrashing around, there were maybe 2 or 3 people surrounding me. I felt extremely drunk. Well if I'm honest, it was closer to being K'd.
The drunk feeling soon wore off and I was in the ward kind of just sitting in my bed lolling around a bit and smiling in a dopey way at the nurses. Everyone else seemed to be in a similar sleepy state. I couldn't really feel anything, I was expecting unbearable pain immediately. Actually I wasn't sure if they'd even DONE the op yet (after coming round I looked at my watch and it had only been maybe an hour). I was a brought some water and tea and biscuits and informed that everything had gone smoothly. Relief! Until I needed the toilet. The drip into my hand was unscrewed and a nurse walked with me to the toilet. I was still SO DIZZY. And waddling a bit because (obviously) my labia felt weird. I discovered this was mainly from the dressing they'd put there, rubbing against my stitches. The dressing consisted of some tissue and two wads of blue porous material, not attatched to anything, just hanging out there between my legs. I took this off to pee, obviously. I expected this to burn a bit (like once when I had horrific thrush - it felt like open sores which stung unbearably but unavoidably on contact with urine...to the point where I stopped drinking water so I wouldn't have to pee) but I hardly felt it. Amazing! So I looked down...

On first glance NOTHING was red or swollen or bruised.
I could only see my outer lips and they were normal, my precious clitoris was also untouched and normal. Thank. God. The rest I'd really need a mirror to look at and I don't really WANT to see it yet. I could see a few stitches and some blood. From a distance though, if all I could see were my outer labia then this was a SUCCESS already (my inner labia used to hang way down past them). I waddled back to my bed and realised the bleeding had gone through both dressings and all over the bed. I was still pretty zoned out from the painkillers/anaesthetic and this was no more blood than a heavy period so I wasn't scared. Everything was going so well!

A nurse said I could put my clothes back on, I did so VERY gingerly. I still had no idea what sort of state these stitches were in or what would aggravate them. So I was dressed and sitting on a chair listening to my ipod. It had been about 4 hours since I arrived. A nurse came and gave me packets of painkillers, and an appointment to see the doctor in 10 weeks. She said I have to bath twice a day and gave me a sick note for work, for 5 days. I could request more time if necessary. About 15 minutes later I was picked up and taken home. I could walk ok. I was happy to be home - I went straight to bed and had a cup of tea/ chilled for a bit. I wasn't really hungry (unusual for me).

I discovered I could comfortably sit or lie in almost any position, as long as I sat down carefully and didn't move too much or too suddenly. Walking was still a bit tricky.
I changed the blue dressing for a normal sanitary towel, which was weird as I don't usually use them. I found when changing them they would get stuck to the blood a bit so I have to take them off carefully. A part of me wanted to get a mirror and check out the damage but I felt far too sqeamish - I'll wait til it's healed more. Plus I've already noticed a strange lump on one side, at the top next to my clitoris. A tiny chunk is still hanging out of the outer labia like the whole labia were before. Kind of like a second clit. Gross.
This is obviously what the doctor meant when she mentioned lack of symmetry. But why they've left this  bit is a mystery! Actually that doctor kept asking me if I still wanted to go through with it. So far, I don't regret it though. Anyway, I like to think it's too early to tell what's going on with this Little Lump, or LL as I'm going to lovingly name it. Oh dear.

PART III


(ask questions, don't be shy, I hardly have been)