3 months later...

My operation seems like a lifetime ago. About a week after my last post, I was experiencing no discomfort at all. Since then I've had no complications and have been very happy with the result.

The warnings of 'asymmetry' and 'loss of sensation' were thankfully just warnings: I have neither. Sex feels the same as before, well actually a lot better as my labia don't get in the way now!

As for appearance, my inner labia now fit snugly inside my outer labia. They're not completely hidden in there, rather they sit at the same level (instead of hanging down as they used to) which is both a lot more comfortable in daily life and (I think) nicer visually.

While they were healing, my labia had very jagged edges where the stitches were binding them, which was hugely emphasised while they were swollen. Once the swelling had subsided and the stitches dissolved/ taken out, the jagged edges smoothed out a lot. On one side, the edge is almost perfectly smooth. So is the other side...towards the bottom, where both lips are perfectly symmetrical.  At the top (where my aforementioned LL/little lump had appeared) there is still a small lump, where a tiny portion more of my original labia has been left behind. It's only noticeable up very close, whereas naturally some girls' labia are naturally much longer on one side, so I think it looks natural. However this side is a little bit lumpy and jagged at the top, where the stitches must have been too tight. When I say lumpy I mean there are 3 small bobbles where the skin healed around the stitches, and the edge of my labia at the top looks like a zig zag - there's 2 small grooves. At this point I'm just being pernickety cos I said I wanted to give you as much detail as possible, the skin is very healthy and these little imperfections don't bother me  at all. So much so, that when I went for my outpatient appointment a month ago with the gynaecologist I saw at the hospital (who performed my op - see stage 4) I didn't even mention it.

All that happened at this appointment was that she asked me if anything was a problem, I said no. I got up on the bed very briefly so she could have a look - didn't even touch. She seemed very pleased with the result and I said I was too, and thanked her. Then I signed a form and was on my way!

The End

Any more questions are most welcome, don't be shy.

Day 24/25

It's now been about 3 and a half weeks and the stitches are GONE!

So much improvement! The stitches are no longer visible, I think they're nearly all gone. My labia are still a bit tender but I am able to go about my day normally now and hardly think about the (very minor) pain. Going to work, using public transport, walking, shopping, sitting for long periods and sleeping are easy now. Now that life's back to normal, it seemed time to resume my relationship! Though the hospital advised 3-6 weeks and it would probably be better to play it safe, I feel I've gone for long enough without sex.

How did it go? A little bit painful but not enough to worry me that anything was going wrong. It didn't hurt at all afterwards.  Success!

It's probably a bit early to tell yet if there's any difference in sensation to before... the doctor warned me before going through with the operation that I might lose sensation in my labia(!?) but I think this is only in rare cases. As for the reduced size, the whole thing was (or will be when the pain's completely subsided) a lot more comfortable. Yes!!!

17 & 18

My period pains have almost stopped now and the bleeding has become much lighter as well. I'm feeling a lot happier in general. I went back to work today and was told I look/seem a lot better! I've continued using tampons, and haven't had any problems with them. It's actually more comfortable to wear (plain, cotton) underwear with them, otherwise the string annoys me. This is funny, but I actually used to tuck the string in  on one side, between my outer and inner labia. Now my inner labia are too small to hold it in place! I'm not complaining.

My friend left today so I have more space and time to myself. I checked with a mirror to see how everything's looking, and I can see some of the stitches coming to the surface. My skin seems to be pushing them out, now the wound has healed together. They're easy to see as they're white. I used a cotton bud to clean them with hot water as I'm concerned the baths I'm having aren't doing a great job; the water is always so soapy, even though I'm not really supposed to get soap in this area as it might irritate. Anyway when I was poking around with the cotton bud, I discovered that not only did the stitches not hurt when I dabbed them, but some broke away completely, and when I picked them up they disintegrated in my fingers! That was strange.

I'm going to carry on cleaning my labia (and getting rid of loose stitches) every night, as they seem to be appearing gradually. I want them all out really! The bobbly appearance of the edges of my labia is because of the stitches, and I'm hoping when they're gone, it will all smooth out and look less jagged. I mentioned about a week ago that the edges look like teeth (!) but now the swelling's gone, so the edge of each labia tapers down in a more natural way, rather that ending bluntly.

I can now sleep and walk fine. I just took a shower for the first time since the op (the nurses said take 2 baths a day - but they didn't say for HOW LONG!) and that seemed to be fine. I didn't have the water too hot, or aim it directly at my vagina, just to be safe.

Day 15 & 16

15
Today I had to get up very early for work (before 6am) to have my bath, get ready and get there for 7.
This was not too bad, though I stayed up fairly late. Sleeping is more comfortable now, despite sharing my bed at the moment with my friend who's here for the weekend. I can sleep in my usual position now, which is great. I'm fussy about pyjamas though, those which are too tight or have a seam which irritates the area are no good, obviously.

Work was not too bad for the first couple of hours, then I started to feel awful. Really weak, which I thought was just the early start, and itchy (which I assumed was my stitches). I went to the toilet and realised I had just come on my period, quite heavily. I took some painkillers - I have stopped taking them over the last few days, but now I really needed them. I had a couple of towels in my bag, as I've been carrying them around in case my stitches bleed. I put one on. After a few minutes it was unbearably itchy and annoying. I changed it after an hour or so for a clean one but it was the same.

In my lunch break (which I had to take early) I went and bought a new packet of thinner pads, with wings. I don't usually use them, I prefer tampons, but the doctors had advised not to use them for 2-6 weeks...it has only been 2 so I decided to play it safe. I felt disgusting and was in a lot of pain for the rest of the day - I concluded that after doing even less exercise than usual this month, my period pains were much worse than usual. I always find that the more exercise I do before my period, the less pain I have when it comes. But there's no way I could have moved around any more between the operation and now! So I'm hoping the pain won't last too long. I'm taking a lot of ibuprofen.

I had a bath when I got home and I felt much better after washing the blood away, and was able to confirm that all the bleeding was menstrual and not from my stitches. I had a nap for an hour and felt much better again. I put in a tampon (applicator, like I usually use) to see how it felt - it was fine. I thought the string might aggravate the stitches but I couldn't feel it! I felt much cleaner and much better.

Which was lucky really, as it was my flatmate's birthday and we had planned a party at the house. I felt alright after my nap so I helped her organise and clean the living room and while people were arriving and we started drinking, everything felt fine. It was lovely to see my friends after feeling so isolated, especially in a relaxed setting. About an hour later I went to the bathroom and freaked out slightly. My underwear was full of blood which was smeared all over my legs, even though I was wearing a tampon. I tried to wipe it all up and check if it was coming from the stitches. Thankfully, it wasn't. I must just be having an unusually heavy period. I should probably stop being so quick to panic about blood and pain, but it's better to be safe than sorry!

Anyway, I gently pulled out my tampon and put in a bigger one. It's worth mentioning, my labia itch considerably when I first insert the tampon, which seems like a warning sign, but everything's fine after a minute or so. The rest of the night was ok, I was able to relax and enjoy myself. Everyone else went out at around 12 but I decided to stay in and get some rest. It's been a long day!


16
This morning I overslept, having been unable to sleep because I was in a lot of pain with cramps. I called in sick to work as I was already very late, and felt awful. Spent most of the day in bed, trying to do work, but could not really concentrate. My friend who's staying at the moment was out most of the day, but he tried to persuade me to go out with him. I declined, I'm too tired. I don't feel like doing anything.

Day 13 & 14

13
Today I went to work all day, then went for drinks with friends and ended up going out!
This sounds like a dramatic improvement...and honestly, I think it is. Going out should have been awful, as I was on my feet for so long (in heels admittedly) and had such a late night. But it turns out alcohol is an excellent painkiller, and I've cheered up a lot now from seeing friends after being stuck inside getting bored, with only my flatmates and a few visitors to keep me company.
Since the bleeding last night, nothing like that has happened, although I've been very careful with things like sitting down etc. I've been checking for bleeding constantly, in a completely paranoid way. But nothing's gone wrong!

14
My friend has come to stay for the weekend, which could be an issue as I have less personal space and it's an extra person sharing the bathroom (I'm still taking ages having baths twice a day) but it should be fine, as I'm feeling a lot better.

I went to an art exhibition today with friends; using public transport is becoming easier and less stressful. However, after doing nothing for almost two weeks, I'm finding walking hurts my knees, and I feel exhausted constantly from doing normal tasks. I still feel a lot of itching occasionally, but I'm able to wear underwear now. I'm still wearing hold-ups rather than tights, to get as much air to the area as possible.

The stitches are still visible but the swelling/bruising has all gone completely down now. Everything looks like it did before, except the inner labia are obviously shorter and in line with the outer ones. The skin all looks healthy and there is no sign of scarring really. My period's due though, dreading that!

Day 12

This is a bit of a half-way marker for me...between the operation and the day I'm planning to have sex for the first time since. It's looking doubtful at the moment. More about that later.

Generally, everything's healing nicely. I've been checking in the mirror every day, and have definitely noticed it looks better. Actually, from further away you can kind of tell how the end result will look; the inner labia aren't even visible, they're tucked inside the outer ones. Success!

Although there's still that lump/LL at the top, which just looked like they missed a bit!? It sticks out still. And pokes out when I'm standing. You can even see the bump through my underwear!? The stitches around it look slightly different to the rest as well - they're kind of scabbed over. Urgh. I'll wait til it's all healed and point it out in 8/9 weeks at my review with the surgeon. If it's even still bothering me by then; to be honest it still looks better than before.

I'm still having 2 baths (and now adding salt to them) but I didn't take any painkillers today, to see what would happen. Mostly it was ok, I had more itching than pain. And this was only occasionally, like most of the day I was alright. It came on in waves. But when it did...it was unbearable. It happened to occur when I was out in public. In the supermarket. I had to just grimace all the way home. I actually wanted to cry.

And a couple of times today I underestimated the pain and sat down too hard, which killed. I need to remember the area's still delicate, and not push myself. The stitches are all still intact/visible. I forgot to mention, but last night, just after I posted my blog entry, I noticed a bit of blood in my pyjamas. But only a tiny bit, along the middle seam. So I must have caught the edge just a tiny bit.

However, tonight just before I got in the bath, the stitches on one side burst open slightly. I didn't notice as I was just sitting/wandering around normally and couldn't feel much pain. But I felt something dripping down my leg and thought I'd check it out. I had blood running down both legs and dripping on to the floor. I panicked and sat down, initially trying to apply pressure to the whole area as I couldn't tell which part was bleeding; there was blood everywhere. But it really hurt to hold tissue on there. I managed to trace it down to the 3 or 4 stitches holding together the bottom half of one side. They were the ones bleeding last night. They weren't gaping open or anything, I must have just knocked them.

The blood stopped flowing so much so I decided to get into the bath and just relax for a while - I was pretty shaken up at the sight of all this blood. When I got out of the bath, I assumed it would have stopped. But it was still dripping onto the floor. So I dabbed it more with tissue until it had almost stopped. Applying the thrush cream was a challenge, as I did NOT want to get it anywhere near the stitches, but I definitely still need to keep using it if today's itching attack is going to keep happening.

So anyway now it's stopped bleeding and I'm wearing the thickest pad I could find, as I'm afraid more bleeding will happen in the night. But it's worth mentioning, wearing sanitary towels, or even just underwear, makes the itching a lot worse. I'm thinking of opting for a maxi dress tomorrow, and no underwear. It's going to be quite a demanding day as I'm going to work then meeting friends and probably going out as well. We'll see how that goes...so far simple tasks like travelling to work or going grocery shopping have been really difficult. After over a week of isolation and hardly walking, it hurts to walk, and I find everything quite exhausting/overwhelming.

Day 11

My sleep cycle's a bit messed up so I didn't sleep that well, but it was much more comfortable. I can sleep in my normal position now! (On my side).
Also, there's no bleeding! And everything's a normal colour and size.
Thankfully the itching has got a bit better; I'm obviously going to keep using my Canesten cream though, until it's completely cleared up.

Today I went back to work, armed with the new doctors note I got yesterday at the GP. I had already sent them the first one, which only gave me 5 days!? A bit ambitious perhaps.

So too, was the claim that my stitches would dissolve in 7-10 days. It's day 11 and they're not budging, so I assume they meant the stitches START to dissolve in 7-10 days. That makes more sense.

My labia are now less sensitive so I can touch them gently without causing much pain. This is not necessarily good though, as I need to touch the area as little as possible to avoid infection. But it makes sleeping and sitting much easier, which is such a relief. Walking for long periods is still difficult though as the two rows of stitches rub together and this is uncomfortable. It makes me walk a bit funny, and much slower than usual, so I would say if you're thinking of going back to work - leave it at least a week. Then give yourself extra time to get there (it took me about half an hour longer than usual - I have to walk between stops/ use escalators etc)

I'm still taking painkillers (1 paracetemol and 1 ibuprofen 3 or 4 times a day) and bathing 2 times a day. I will keep up this bathing routine for at least a month if possible, but I honestly hate it - I usually prefer to shower. I don't feel as clean after a bath. And it takes ages! Drying the area is becoming easier though.

Just to re-cap, the nurses on the day of my operation said don't have sex or use tampons for 2-6 weeks after the op. It's been nearly 2 weeks and I have no desire to do either - my labia might be healing nicely but to touch them feels horrible and scratchy. My period's not due for another week or so, so we'll see how that goes.

Day 10

Finally I feel a bit better. This morning I was hardly bleeding at all, I got up earlier than I have been all week and went to see my GP.
I told her I was worried my stitches weren't healing properly or fast enough, and that they might get infected.
She said the wounds look like they're healing nicely and to carry on with what I'm doing (she obviously didn't notice the damage I caused with my little stitch-removing fiasco). She also gave me advice like putting salt in the bath and only wearing cotton underwear and skirts/dresses for a while. I'd be doing that anyway to be honest.
Ok, so panic over.
For about an hour...then the itching started. I've been itchy for a while as you can imagine with stitches in such a sensitive area. But soon after I arrived home from the doctors, it suddenly became unbearable. I started to suspect it wasn't even the stitches; it felt like thrush. Now I've only had it once, but it was horrific.  It started around my perineum and spread upwards, affecting my vagina and eventually my clitoris which became unbearably sensitive and painful. I had red sores which felt like open wounds and it was so painful to urinate that was actually afraid to drink. This went on for over a week before I saw a doctor (I had never had it before so didn't actually know what I had). 
So you can imagine my fear/disgust when I felt earlier that I might have it again, particularly so close to my delicate stitches! I went straight to the shop and bought a duo treatment - one pill and a cream which you apply 2/3 times a day. This cost £12.30 by the way!!
But it was so worth it - I took the pill and applied the cream and within about half an hour it felt ok. So definitely I have thrush, but at least its treatable. The cream keeps wearing off and there's not a lot I can do about the itching then, but I've found ice helps when nothing else will. I've not been wearing where possible but I'm trying to get on with life a bit more so this is becoming more difficult. Also the cream and the stitches are not friends. If I get any on the stitches it really stings!
Other than the itching, everything seems ok. I can sit down much more easily and comfortably. I'm just really conscious of keeping the thrush to a minimum (as if I need MORE problems in this area) and keeping everything clean. I'll let you know how that goes.

Do keep commenting/asking questions, it's great to know people are actually reading along.
Though I must say it's actually therapeutic to offload like this.
But yeah, ask me anything.

Day 9

Today I'm feeling worse than ever, especially as I expected to be feeling fine by now. Or at least able to walk.
I can confirm that messing with my stitches was a BAD IDEA. I thought I'd left most of them in, just trimmed the sticking out ends. Apparently not. After a sleepless night I woke up bloodstained and sore. Both sides had bled near the bottom and (urgh) the blood had crusted both sides together. Going to the toilet was very painful. Having a bath was very painful. Life is currently painful!
Dissolvable stitches are meant to dissolve on their own, I knew this, I trimmed them anyway. I'm an idiot!

If I hadn't had such patience/ good light/ a steady hand, I dread to think how much worse I could have made it still. From now on, no sharp objects are going near the area. Even if it drives me crazy with itching!

I honestly thought the wounds had healed enough to have the stitches out completely. I was so wrong.
Forgive me for thinking that though...the hospital gave me FIVE DAYS off work and so I expected to be better after 5 days. It's day 9 - they lied.

Aside from constantly having to prise my bloody labia apart, other exciting developments include discharge and (still) itching. My knees hurt from lack of walking and from sitting in odd positions. My back hurts from lack of sleep/sleeping funny.
Ouch.
I'm losing my patience. Perhaps you would too, if your labia looked like sad, wrinkled toothless (and now BLEEDING) gums.

Day 8 (continued)

OK, briefly, here's a more sensible and coherent re-cap of yesterday.

Basically, I didn't sleep well at all on Day 7, just couldn't get comfortable.

A lot of the swelling has gone down, like above my clitoris, where the hood was very swollen. Now it's normal size and the discolouration has also improved, it's almost back to normal, just looks like a faint birthmark.

The biggest problem is itching. And lack of sleep. And boredom/loneliness - I can't walk really. I'm stuck inside with not a lot to do.